


With Shadows Lurking Close Behind, You Were Not A Creature But A Candle With A Light

by PG_Cartoons



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Perryshmirtz - Freeform, a glitch maybe??, and barely remember any of the research lol, anyway, anyway i cant remember if platypuses actually have bad night vision or if i made that up, barely there crush, because i started this fic literal months ago, but when I'm logged out the paragraphs are doublespaced, fellas is it gay to find safety in your nemesis even in the face of mortal terror, heinz has ocelot traits, i dont even know how to tag this lol, idk what's wrong w the formatting, it do be like that sometimes, looks fine when in logged in, no night vision perry, perry risks death to avoid a seminar, this is like almost a gen fic except for like three sentences and subtext, who wouldnt tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29259879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PG_Cartoons/pseuds/PG_Cartoons
Summary: It was something about the way he was walking. It was so smooth, and sure. He grew up in these woods and you could tell. The way he weaved around branches and crept over twigs without breaking them… he was slinking through the underbrush like a cat. He was hunting.The thought sent Perry’s heart hammering.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	With Shadows Lurking Close Behind, You Were Not A Creature But A Candle With A Light

**Author's Note:**

> If you see a typo, ✨squint✨

When Major Monogram sent Perry to Drusselstein for a mission out of the blue, Perry knew it had Heinz Doofenshmirtz written all over it… even if Major Monogram hadn’t quite figured that out for himself. 

He and Heinz had been nemeses for a long time. Four or five years, Perry was pretty sure. He was attuned to the finer points of Heinz’ scheming in a way that Monogram was not, and he knew that Doofenshmirtz knew it, too. Had Doofenshmirtz wanted Perry sent here to thwart him, he would have made it obvious that he was planning something evil here for him to, well, thwart. The fact that he was laying low and only sending OWCA vague hints that something strange was going on told Perry all he needed to know. Whatever Heinz wanted from him here for, it wasn’t a fight. 

Perry landed his hover car pretty far outside of town. He didn’t think the Drusselstinians were as exposed to advanced technology as Danville was, and knowing how superstitious they could be, thanks to Doofenshmirtz, he didn’t raise any alarmbells. He was prepared to walk however many miles necessary to keep things calm, but, to his surprise, Heinz was already there. A little ways away, sitting on a rock. Just… in the middle of nowhere. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice Perry land his car, or approach him, until Perry tapped him on the leg.

Doofenshmirtz yelped in surprise. “Perry the Platypus!” He exclaimed. “How unexpected! Haha, to, uh, see you here in little old Drusselstein.” He smiled awkwardly.

Perry raised an eyebrow at him. Unexpected his hat.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Doofenshmirtz relented, holding two hands up in defeat. “So I knew you were coming. Big deal. I got lucky with the location though, eh! What a coincidence!” 

Perry rolled his eyes, but nodded. Leave it to Heinz to trust Perry’s intuition, but to dismiss his own. He’d been on enough jobs with Perry to know that he didn’t like to draw undue attention to himself, so of course he would land out of town. How Doofenshmirtz got it nailed down to the square mile, let alone a few yards, was a little startling to Perry, but not too outside of what he could expect Doofenshmirtz to be capable of. Now, if only Doofenshmirtz would recognize his abilities for the strengths they were the way Perry could. _Then_ he would be formidable. 

Though… his lack of self-confidence may be the very thing preventing him from ACTUALLY taking over the tri-state area. 

“Anyway, I bet you’re wondering why you’re here, Perry the Platypus!” Doofenshmirtz stood, startling Perry out of his thoughts. “Well! I’ll spare you the suspense! I… am lost.” He admitted with a shrug. Perry blanched.

He rushed to explain himself. “Not lost-lost! I swear I have a reason for bringing you here! But, well, while I was, eh-uh, _looking_ for it, I seem to have gotten a little turned around.” He chucked awkwardly, and rubbed the back of his neck. Perry was unimpressed, and didn’t hold back from showing it. “Hey now! None of that!” Doofenshmirtz chastised. “I’d like to see you stumble your way around the uncharted Drusselsteinian backwoods!” 

Perry looked around, and had to admit that, yeah. Everything looked pretty much the same. Though they were not technically in the forest, it was on either side of them, and the town was a speck in the distance. The sun was directly overhead, so there was light for _now_ but in a few hours? Absolute darkness was inevitable. Perry was suddenly very glad that he bumped into Doofenshmirtz when he had. Otherwise, his overconfidence might have gotten himself very lost. 

“Mhmm. Yeah. That’s what I thought.” Doofenshmirtz quipped, sounding very pleased with himself as if he knew exactly what Perry was thinking. He probably did, too, the jerk. 

Nonetheless, Perry sighed and waved his hand for Doofenshmirtz to continue, conceding the point. 

“Oh! Right!” Heinz said, pausing to remember what he’d been talking about. “Oh, yes! Okay, well, I had been thinking to myself that you’ve met my parents, and Roger, and Balloony, but you’re missing a very integral piece of my childhood backstory!” He surveyed the surrounding area for a moment longer, before shrugging and choosing a direction to walk seemingly completely at random. Perry reluctantly followed Heinz into the dark Drusselsteinian woods. “And, I was thinking, does half of what I say to you even have its full impact without it? I work really hard on my expositions, and if you’re not getting all of the intended emotional force, then what’s the point, you know?”

Perry thought that Doofenshmirtz had a point there. It would be harder for Perry to do his job if he didn’t really understand Heinz’s motivations. But, what piece could he be missing? He felt like he had what was pretty close to them all. 

“And, even if I don’t know anything about _your_ backstory, I know Monobrow, and Carl, and your little violent coworkers. It just doesn’t feel _right_ for you to not know all the people involved in my- hey!” He exclaimed suddenly, causing Perry to jump. 

Platypuses don’t have good night vision, and Perry was no exception. Most platypuses never spend as much time out of water as Perry does, and so they use their bills to get around, even going so far as to forgo sight altogether when hunting. But, electrolocation doesn’t really work out of water, meaning that Perry was at a serious disadvantage to even a human’s shoddy night vision. This meant whatever caught Heinz’s attention was beyond Perry’s knowledge, and that wasn’t a feeling he liked.

“I think I know this area!” He told Perry. He stopped and looked around. He was barely visible to Perry, appearing to just be an outline with minimal details. “Come on! This way!”

And just like that, he was gone. 

Perry assumed that he must have made a hard right… or left? Or ducked behind a tree or something, but suddenly Perry couldn’t see him anymore. Worse, Perry couldn’t hear him. With Heinz’ constant talking, you think he would, but he couldn’t hear anything beyond the blood rushing behind his ears. This was not a situation Perry had training for, and he was struggling to resist his instincts that told him to do what any animal would do in his situation: Hide. 

But he couldn’t hide, because if he was hidden then Heinz couldn’t find him. So, he did what Isabella always said to do when you were lost, and he stayed very still. Heinz would notice eventually that Perry wasn’t with him, but it might take a while between his tendency to get distracted by the sound of his own voice, and Perry’s typical silence. 

He briefly considered comm’ing the Major, but he didn’t really want to admit that he’d gotten lost in the woods, and have to sit through a seminar on not getting lost. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t have signal out here anyway. A mistake on his part. What if this was an evil scheme, and he’d read Heinz wrong? How would he radio for backup if things went south?

He trusted Heinz to not betray the fragile understanding the two of them had, but he’d been burned before. This could be bad. This could single handedly be the stupidest thing Perry had ever done on duty.

Something stirred in Agent P’s gut all of a sudden. Animal instinct. Something was wrong. He cast his vision deep into the darkness engulfing him, but saw nothing. Despite that, he was overwhelmed with the suspicion that he was being watched. Stalked, potentially. 

The platypus didn’t have too many natural predators. He could name all off the top of his head. Water rats, alligators, hawks, goannas, eagles, owls, and foxes. Recently, feral dogs and cats had entered the mix. The threat was not coming from above, it was on the ground with him. That took off eagles, and hawks. There were no alligators, goannas, or water rats in this forest that he knew of, either. 

That left foxes, cats, or dogs. Dogs were clumsy hunters, and didn’t really take to circling their prey, the way whatever was just beyond the shadows was doing to Perry. 

It was probably a fox, or a cat then. Weren’t big cats native to this region? 

Perry was pretty confident in his ability to hold his own at the worst of times, but he was currently in the darkness of an unfamiliar forest, being hunted by an unknown predator, and fighting the natural urge to freeze. His outlook was uncertain. Probably not good. 

He pitied Heinz. He grew up in these forests, subject to the dangers every single night of his childhood. Maybe this is what he wanted Perry to realize. Probably not, but this was definitely the take-away Perry was getting. More than anything, he felt guilty. The last thing Heinz needed on his conscience was a dead nemesis. He felt guilty for his boys, too. They would never understand it if he didn’t come home. He hoped the agency would wipe their memories of him. Just so they wouldn’t have to grieve. 

“Perry the Platypus, where are you!?” Heinz’s annoyed voice cut through the silence and all at once Perry’s chances of survival skyrocketed. 

He scrambled for a stick in the darkness, and, once he’d found one, he snapped it. The crack of the dry wood was loud and clear, and Heinz’s footsteps turned in his direction in an instant.

Something else, too, scampered away into the trees. 

“Perry the Platypus, is that you?” Heinz called. Perry chirped loudly in response. Heinz’ figure solidified in Perry’s vision, breaking away from the previously undisturbed black. “What are you still doing here?”

Perry sighed, partially out of relief and partially out of annoyance. 

“Did you lose track of me? I suppose these woods are a little confusing, but you’re a secret agent. You’d think you’d have better navigational skills, Perry the Platypus.”

Perry gave Heinz a deadpan expression, and waved a hand in front of his eyes. 

“Oh, you can’t see in the dark?” Heinz asked. Perry nodded. “Oh, well, don’t worry, Perry the Platypus! I, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, will be your guide! Here!” He leaned down, and held a hand out for Perry to hold. Perry hesitated for just a moment (was this demeaning?) before sucking it up and taking Heinz’s hand. It was better than being forgotten again, and becoming something’s lunch for real. 

They started walking again. More than one time, Heinz had to tug Perry out of the way of a tree, or hold his balance for him after he tripped over a root. It was frustrating, and slow going, and more and more Perry wished Heinz would just tell him why they were out there in the first place. If he was struggling for something not worth his time, he was going to have some words. 

Well, chatters.

The most peculiar thing to Perry, however, was the resurgence of his anxiety. For some reason, he felt like a prey animal again. He didn’t like it. He was used to feeling like the scariest thing in any given area, but right now his tactical disadvantage was throwing him off entirely. 

He couldn’t even pinpoint what exactly his mind had decided was a predator. He wasn’t being stalked anymore, as far as he could tell. Heinz was scaring off most other animals. He turned to examine what it was that Heinz was doing to be so threatening, was it just his height and noisiness? When he saw what was causing his nerves to misfire. It was _Heinz_. 

It was something about the way he was walking. It was so smooth, and sure. He grew up in these woods and you could tell. The way he weaved around branches and crept over twigs without breaking them… he was slinking through the underbrush like a cat. He was hunting. 

The thought sent Perry’s heart hammering. 

Heinz wasn’t hunting _him_ , obviously. He wasn’t even hunting food. He was looking for whatever or whomever was in these woods that he wanted Perry to see. But, despite knowing that, Heinz was securely marked as “Threat” in Perry’s mind. He swallowed hard, but didn’t take his eyes off of him. Now that he knew what was making him so uneasy, it would be too difficult to convince his mind to let it out of his sight. So, he didn’t.

Never in his life had Perry ever considered himself a wild animal. Sure, he wasn’t domesticated, but he was well trained and he understood the difference between an actual danger and a car alarm going off down the street. Or, he thought he did. Turns out, location is everything. It's like how your dog can get along great with your pet bunny in the house, but if your bunny and your dog happened to be outside in the yard at the same time, your dog’s predatory instincts could kick in and well… bye bye bunny. 

Perry knew that Heinz was not a danger to him, obviously, but he was afraid anyway. 

Perry was about to tug on Heinz’s hand and demand to be taken home when they stopped. Heinz looked around for a second, and then bared his teeth at Perry. Perry’s immediate thought was of aggression, before he remembered what a smile typically meant.

“I think this is it, Perry the Platypus!” Heinz whispered, sounding just short of elated. “Are you ready to know what we’re doing here!?” 

Perry nodded. He just wanted this to be over now, please.

Heinz stepped through a bush, pulling Perry with him, and exclaimed “We’re meeting my ocelot family!”

Perry froze, and so did about a dozen pairs of ocelot eyes. 

“Usually, I’m sure you know this, Perry the Platypus, ocelots don’t live in groups, but I asked my mom to gather all of my brothers and sisters together just for this special reunion! Aren’t you excited, Perry the- Perry the Platypus?”

Perry had slipped his hands out of Heinz’s loose grip, and ducked through the bush and behind a tree. He grasped at his chest and struggled to get his breathing under control. In, and out. In, and out, and in- and in- out- in- in- and-

“Perry?” Heinz asked softly. 

Perry blinked, and looked up at him. He was crouched in front of him, when had he gotten there, looking mostly concerned and maybe a little amused. 

“Are you scared, Perry the Platypus?” He asked.

Perry gasped for air again, and let it out shakily. He nodded hesitantly. 

“Jeez, if I’d known you were going to be that nervous about meeting my family I wouldn’t have brought you here.” He laughed awkwardly. “Yeesh, it sounds like I’m in high school again.”

Perry shook his head. He tried to think of a way to communicate with Heinz, but he was floundering. Then, suddenly, he was engulfed in white light, and he screwed his eyes shut. 

“Take it, Perry the Platypus.” Heinz urged. Perry opened an eye gingerly, and waited for it to adjust. It was Heinz’s phone, and his notes app was open. Perry looked at it for a beat, then took it gently.

He typed: I’m a little semiaquatic mammal in a big dark forest of bigger, hungrier predators than I am. I can’t see. I can’t fight. Cats eat platypuses, and you’ve brought me into a den of ocelots. Do the math. 

He handed the phone back to Heinz and let him read it. He ran his hands up and down his arms as he waited. Why was this forest so cold?

“Oh, Perry the Platypus…” Heinz said softly. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking about your, well, platypus-ness. You’re so person-like to me, well you are a person to me, of course! But, what I mean is, sometimes I forget you’re a platypus and- I’ve never thought of my family as threatening but, but well I guess they would be from the other end of the food chain. I’m sorry, Perry the Platypus. I’ll tell my family that an emergency came up and we’ll go home.” 

Heinz looked at Perry guiltily for a moment longer, before pushing to his feet and ducking back into the bush. 

“I’m sorry everyone, but I’m afraid something has come up and- what do you mean you heard everything. Yes, I know you have better ears than me but eavesdropping is just rude! I’m not sure- fine. Bye, see you then. Love you, Mom!” He came back out of the bush and said “They bought it perfectly, don’t worry, let’s-” Perry gave him a look. Heinz pouted. “Not you too! What is it with you people and eavesdropping! So rude!”

Perry smiled a little, and gestured at Heinz to start walking. 

“Actually, Perry the Platypus-” Heinz said, and Perry paused. He looked away, and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Since the, uh, walk over here was so hard for you, do you think it would be easier if I carried you back? Just for convenience?” 

Perry rolled his eyes, but... It would be easier, and safer, and he wouldn’t have to look at Heinz’s creepy way of walking… and, maybe it would be nice to be held. These woods didn’t get any less scary during these last few minutes, and not having to go through them on his own sounded like a pretty sweet deal to him. 

He nodded to Heinz, and in a moment he was swept off his feet and firmly held in Heinz’s long arms. Heinz started walking right away. Perry bounced lightly against his chest, but otherwise was perfectly secure.

“Don’t worry, Perry the Platypus. I won’t let anything happen to you.” He promised. Then he coughed awkwardly. “Just because you’re my nemesis, and nobody gets to hurt you but me, of course. No other reason, and especially not because I’ve started to think of you as my pack obviously. How crazy would that be, right? Haha…” 

Perry chirped in response. Right, crazy. He grit his teeth and tried to ignore the sudden forcefulness of his heartbeat. A delayed prey response, maybe. He put a hand over his chest to feel it’s hammering.

“Imagine us? A pack?” Heinz laughed. “What would you tell the agency?”

Perry looked at his watch. They’ve been gone for four hours. What to tell the agency indeed…

“Um… Perry?” Heinz asked, suddenly sounding hesitant. Perry looked up from his watch and frowned at him. “Thank you.” He glanced down at Perry, but cringed when they locked eyes and looked away. “You must have been scared since following me in here and, well, I’m sorry for not noticing. And, I’m sorry I got you lost. You can’t really blame me though, you’re a remarkable actor when you want to be! It’s just uh, thank you.” He looked down at Perry again, and this time it was Perry who felt awkward and a little shy and wished Heinz would stop looking at him like that. “Thank you for being so brave for me.”

Perry’s heartbeat kicked into overdrive, and the skin under his fur grew warm. He crossed his arms and glared daggers into Heinz’s chest, feeling a little embarrassed and very vulnerable all of a sudden. Heinz chuckled, and the vibrations ran through Perry’s body. 

“I’ll have to remember that you can’t see in the dark.” He changed the topic, Perry hesitantly peeked back up at him. Heinz was looking ahead. “Of course, if I started using that to my advantage then I guess you would just get night vision goggles. Do those work on platypuses? I wouldn’t think so, but then again you have a ton of gadgets modified for platypus use. Do you build those yourself?” He asked. 

Perry relaxed and nodded. He’d built some of them, sure. 

“We should really build something together again! It’s been awhile.” He beamed. This time, Perry didn’t see danger. Only a smile.

Perry chirped a chastise. He wouldn’t help Heinz build an inator under just _any_ circumstances.

“Okay, not an inator, but we could get a non-evil hobby. Like,” He ducked a branch. “I don’t know. Fixing old cars or computers. I just think it would be fun to do something other than movie nights sometimes, you know?”

Perry listened to Heinz ramble about nothing for the rest of the walk out of the forest. In the end, he sent his hovercar home without him and hitched a ride back to Danville with Heinz. He’d make up a fake report about being held hostage in a trap or something to explain his disappearance when he got back, but right then all he wanted to do was listen to bad country music and Heinz’s voice from the passenger seat.

Outside the window, as they left Drusselstein and grew nearer to the city, the inky blackness blotted with the smudged light of streetlamps. Being closer to civilization, to his boys, and away from that forest fostered a sense of calm in his heart.

Maybe someday, in the future, Perry would be ready to meet that part of Heinz’s family. Somewhere not quite as dark, and with less of them at once. As long as Heinz was with him, he was sure that he would be safe. But that was in the future. For now, he was in Heinz’s car, leaning against the door and looking out the window. The AC was broken, so the air was warm and a little humid and very relaxing. The white noise of Heinz explaining some Drusselsteinian folk hero over the sound of a commercial for tax help was very comforting. His whole body felt so drained from being panicked for so much of the day. 

He glanced over at Heinz. His facial expressions were animated, but his voice was soft and his body language subdued. Perry smiled softly, and then turned back to the window. They were a good half an hour outside of the city. He wondered if the boys were already asleep, or if they were waiting up for him.

He’d be home soon, but for now he was tired. Heinz would probably wake him up before they got into the city, but that was okay. Because he was safe, and warm. He’d be home soon, but he was going to sleep now. He’d see the boys in half an hour. 

Distantly, he heard Heinz click off the radio. Then, peaceful quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> Lol heyyyyy
> 
> Why this? Idk take it up w my lawyer
> 
> Ily 3


End file.
